I usually go with the prawn cocktail starter, then the big turkey with sausages wrapped up in bacon, loads of different roast veg, thick gravy  etc etc.. followed by the traditional Christmas pud & or chocolate gateau, with thick creamy brandy custard.

I may go for the Nut Roast but is there anything else out there that compares to a “proper” Christmas dinner? – Any suggestions welcome ;0)

I seem to be slipping again.. What is it with changes in life-styles?  Why is it so easy to slip back into bad habits?

Is it lack of time? 

Is it lack of motivation?

Is it the temptations that surround us?

I feel that the supermarkets make it hard on us, they always have offers on the “un-healthy” foods, but very few on the healthy stuff.  I mean, I very rarely see a supermarket that has ½ prices on a variety of fruit and veg. If they do it’s usually just the one time.  Or it’s just ½ price on the usual apples/peaches or plums that no-one really eats or buys because they go off so quickly or they’re the really old small types.

I would love to go in to a supermarket and see offers on the healthy foods as often as I see them on chocolate biscuits etc.. it would make my shopping bill cheaper for a start!

The other disappointment I have is that supermarkets generally have only 2/3 aisles of fresh fruit and veg, yet 4/5 of chocolate/crisps/biscuits etc.

Any way that’s enough about that! My rant for the day!

What ever the reasons, I need to pull my socks up! I want to lose at least another ½ stone (7lb) before I see my doctor again, and it won’t drop off on its own!

In the past month I have had to buy 3 new tops and 2 new pairs of trousers, simply because some of my other clothes were looking a little baggy. The problem I have is, I am living in my new clothes day in and day out. Because I know (hope) that when I have lost more weight I will have to go out and buy more clothes, and this can be a very expensive exercise (well for my husband anyway).  But I have noticed that my friends that were saying “Have you lost weight?” are now saying “Have you put on a bit of weight? Your clothes are fitting better then they did last time I saw you” – I can’t win!

Many of my friends are on medication to help with their weight loss, and some are even considering surgery. I admit that this thought has crossed my mind several times, but I always wonder what would happen after you come off the medication? Does the weight jump back on? Is it healthy? What about after the surgery? What are the risks? Is it really worth it?

I am exploring the world of cooking, and coming up with some delicious vegetarian recipes. I seem to be living on Avocado at the moment, I could eat it till the cows come home.

I am starting to relax around food.  Before I would be on edge thinking, Can I eat this?? Should I eat this???  Followed by hundreds of what if’s????If you have any recipes that you’re are willing to share, please drop me an email… Sarahhollamby@aol.com… or just drop a note on here.

My water intake has slowed down over the past week or so due to a horrible cold, but I am getting over the worst of it so will hopefully pick up the water drinking again.  Work is also slowing down a little, it’s not so demanding, so this will help me to pick back up on my exercise that I have missed out on (apart from walking 2 hours per week, to take my eldest to playschool). I plan to take the boys to the park a bit more and possible get in a little workout during the day. At the moment I am finding it hard to wake up early enough to do it in the mornings as I just can’t sleep the night before.

With work slowing down a little I hope to be able to post a bit more, and research into healthy living a bit more. Watch this space! 

I keep noticing more benefits to my new healthy life style.  For instance my 2 year old would only sit and read a book for about 10-15 minutes but now he will quite happily sit and read for as long as it takes.  He has more of an attention span, and I have noticed he is trying to put long sentences together. A number of people have remarked on how well he seems to be doing already. Its so reassuring, it just re-enforces the fact that I am doing the best for my family.

My skin is getting even better by the day too; it’s not so red and blotchy.

I will admit that I have been tired these past few weeks, I have been having very late nights and up most of them due to my 16 week old waking through the night still. I have not been doing as much exercise as I wanted to get in because 1) I am just so tired & 2) I have been sleeping through my alarm clock and so not had the time!

My weight has stayed the same for god knows how long, and to be honest it’s starting to make me feel so up-set. But saying that it could be down to the fact that I have not been eating enough, and when I did have something to eat it was the wrong stuff. i.e. I had not been eating my 3 main meals a day but when I did have something to snack on it would be something like a sandwich, but I was too scared to eat too much in case I put on weight. My Dr told me off straight away, he said that my body probably has gone into starvation mode, as I had not been eating enough to keep my metabolism going.  So I have been good and stuck to my eating plan, and have been eating all the right kinds of foods.

I have even been coming up with my own delicious recipes, and copying some of my very good friends ideas.. for instance I have stuffed my self with the following salad, it sounds strange but its soooo moorish!I usually have this for lunch, the measurements are just estimates, I increase / decrease the ingredients as I go…. 

Add a little olive oil to a bowl add….
1 chopped avocado
½ large chopped Orange
A hand full of Cherry tomatoes or chopped large tomatoes
Chopped ½ a capscum (bell) pepper (which ever colour you have available)
Chopped ¼ of cucumber
Ground black pepper & sea salt (I try not to add salt, but sometimes if I get the urge I add a little)

Mix it all up, and eat! The orange really gives it that extra bit. I of course blame (and thank) my very good friend for giving me this recipe.  

Another friend of mine was thinking of doing one of these diets where you just have a shake 3 times a day, and I know from personal experience that they are great but for me, as soon as I started to eat foods again, after a short time the weight found its way back on.. so now he is going to be trying the smoothies and soups 3 times a day and so far he has lost ½ stone (7lbs) in 1 week… I am so pleased for him, although I did not realise he felt he needed to lose weight.

So I have thought I might do the same for a short period, just to try and get me going again.  I already have a smoothie for breakfast any way so another 2 a day won’t hurt! My favourite at the moment is… Soya milk & 2 frozen bananas just whizzed up, its lovely and when I feel a little hungrier or feel a little more adventurous I add dried cranberries & a hand full of macadamia nuts. My son loves it. To me it tastes a little like a banana milkshake you get from a fast food place, but is a lot better for me!

I am starting to get more adventurous with my cooking, and although it’s not always a success I am getting better at it. I have now mastered the sweet bean curry, my son loves this one as it is mild, but when it’s just myself and my husband I can make it a bit more spicy.

With regards to my exercise I desperately want to pick things up.. At the moment all I am really doing is a few sit ups, and jigging / fidgeting at my desk. ½ the time it looks like I need the loo, or I have had a bit too much caffeine but it’s not that, I am just trying to use up a few calories whilst I sit at my desk.     

I know it’s been ages since my last blog, but I have been sooooo busy.

I have some great news though! I had to go and have a glucose tolerance test for my diabetes, and the good news is that I no longer need medication for the diabetes. I will need to be monitored for a little while, but as long as I keep up the healthy living I will be fine! :0)

My cholesterol is normal, and my blood pressure is absolutely fine where as, this time a few months ago everything was high!

My weight is coming off slowly but surly, I am not 100% sure how much I have lost at the moment because the brand new scales I purchased don’t work! But I can tell in my clothes that the weight is coming off.

It’s my son’s second birthday on Saturday 18 August 2007,  and we are going to Thorpe park.  I am looking forward to it, but I am a little concerned because I may not be able to get on some of the rides.  I remember last year when I went to Chesington I felt like I had to get off one of the rides because I was just too big! (Not because it was a child’s ride. Lol)

My exercise programme has not been going 100% to plan, I have been so tired lately that I just keep getting up too late. It does not help that I have been going to bed at very late hours.

 I have been busy trying to get my accounts up to date (which I have finally done!). Over the past few weeks I have been suffering with what I call “dieter’s syndrome”.  Food just keeps leaping out at me, the more I try to avoid foods the more I crave them. But I am doing my best to avoid caving in.  I do find that having a smoothie helps with filling an empty hole. At the moment I have been having smoothies for breakfast, my favourite at the moment is frozen banana.

 For lunch I have either been having another smoothie or salads, and for dinner I have generally been having Quorn products and veg.  It seems to be working. I really fill up on the green salads and veg as it keeps me going. I have been getting in the habit of gulping down water in between mouthfuls, which really helps fill in the hole only trouble is I need the loo every 15 minutes.

I am just getting over a horrible cold; I had the most horrendous sore throat, could hardly speak! I was sucking on lozenges 24/7 just to try and take the edge off my throat and try and get myself back in working order.
It’s a good thing they don’t tell you how many cals there are in each lozenge as I may have fainted!

At the moment I am trying to keep my food intake to a minimum, just trying to eat enough to satisfy that ‘real’ hunger feeling. It’s harder than I thought it would be.
I used to eat until I was ‘stuffed like a sausage skin’ ready to burst, I ate what ever was on my plate whatever the amount.
My Husband kindly reminded me that it was OK to leave what I could not eat; I did not have to fill my sell to bursting point.

I hate waste, the feeling that I have wasted something that so many people would gladly have eaten, makes me feel ashamed of myself.

I was always told that I could not leave the table until I had cleared my plate. If I moaned about it I would be told the same story of how my mum would have to eat everything or whatever she left she would have to eat for the next meal, until the plate was cleared. This was followed by threats of the same thing for me.

Other things that pushed me to clearing my plate were mainly worries of what might happen if I didn’t. Sent to my bedroom, not allowed out, no TV etc etc.  In the end it was like I was training my body to cope with a large intake of food just to keep everyone happy. In the end it becomes natural.

It feels strange to start un-stitching this process, and try and revert back to my (true) natural feelings of hunger and fullness.  For me to do this, it means concentrating when I eat, instead of getting carried away with a conversation, TV, work etc I need to keep reminding myself that if I have had enough, I can leave it.

It’s surprising to see how many people force their children to do things they really don’t want to, and how it impacts on them in later life.
I am ashamed to say that I have done it myself; I often say to Michael just one more mouth full or eat your potato.
But thinking about everything that I am currently going through, I think I will leave him be.

I know a few people who were strict on their children, and made them eat their dinners (even if the children did not want it) and now those children have gone off to school and have at some stage suffered with bullying, so the children are now on diets. So it’s like the pendulum has swung from “Eat it now, or there will be trouble!” to “You’re not eating that, you will get fat!”- How mixed up is that? How confused must that child be?

The disappointment in a parent’s eye if a child has put on a pound is heartbreaking.
And the ironic thing is, that that child will probably look for food to comfort them, whilst they try to deal with their parent’s disappointing look.

This whole scenario makes me think about what society expects of us.  Is it humanly possible to be exactly how society wants us to be??

The majority of us (myself included) generally look to lose weight because society tells us we are overweight, and ugly. At the end of the day we just want to fit in and get on with our daily lives without the snide comments.
I remember once, I had not eaten all day as I was busy helping friends, on the way home (late at night) I thought I need to have something to eat, but I only want a small something because it was so late. I pulled up outside a Chinese take away to get a spring roll to eat on my way home. As I was queuing up there was a group of people staring at me, and I heard one person say “Oh my God look at the size of that, put your order in quick before they run out of food”.  Just because I am big they automatically think I am going to stuff myself silly!

I can understand why they may think this, but it hurts to know that every time they look at me in a restaurant or eating something, this is what they think

If I was to stand in the street eating a chocolate bar, people would walk by and probably think “Pig”.
If I was a size 0 super model people would probably think “Oh my God, there goes her career”
But if I was my ideal weight people would probably think “ Oooo, where did she get that from?, I want one!”

Anyway moving on……

I am pleased to say that I have been able to increase my water intake; I am now drinking about 3 litres (6.3 pints) of water a day, in the hope that this will speed up my weight loss, and help my skin to feel even better. Also it helps to fill me up. – It’s a good thing I have a toilet down stairs as well as up!
Until next time! xxx
 

6 week target exceeded!!

Well I lost 21lb in 6 weeks, I was over the moon when I stood on the scales and saw them tip down below 20stone 5lb. (285lb) it felt fantastic!

Clothes are fitting better and I have a little more confidence in my appearance. I went to a party and even bought a new top as a reward.

I am losing weight around my ankles as my shoes slip on and off better. 

I feel fitter.

My cholesterol is down to 5.2 (as recommended by Dr’s) I would like to get this down to 3.6. I have no need for my regular asthma inhalers, and my Dr has said I can give it up altogether and just keep my emergency inhaler for, well, emergencies. 

but then… 

Unfortunately since then I have put back on 3.5 lb but I am trying to get my self back on track! 

Feeling Empty!?!

Well over the past few weeks I have been feeling very stressed and had a feeling like I was empty inside, and however much I hate to admit it, I feel back to my old ways of filling that “empty feeling” with food, and not just any food but KFC! That’s all I seem to have eaten just lately, I don’t know if it was just pure laziness or whether I have been avoiding something.  Even looking at my hunger chart in my moments of feeling empty I felt really empty. I can’t work out if I was really hungry or if my mind was just telling me I was?? Looking back I think it was the latter. I am trying to find ways of moving my emotional needs from food, but whatever I do when something big happens I really feel that food is the only thing that can satisfy me, even if it is just for 5 minutes. When it’s been a whole day/week or even month of dealing with stress, 5 minutes feels like heaven, until those 5 minutes are up! Then in comes the flood of regret, disappointment and feeling even worse.  I keep asking myself why eat it? What will it achieve? But then before I get a chance to answer I have eaten it anyway. 

Timing this past month or so has been a complete nightmare. Trying to juggle 2 children under 2 years old, work and trying my hardest to keep our finances from dragging me under. I have not found time to do my work-outs, in fact I found myself on several occasions sitting at my desk in my dressing gown gone 1pm (I would just like to point out at this stage I do work from home, I have not been driven completely insane to the point that I forget to get dressed and ready for work in the mornings- well not yet any way). 

The way forward!

OK, as most people on a diet (including myself), I have fallen off the wagon. But I am going to get myself back on.  The main thing I need to try and do is work out how I am going to tackle my emotional status. I think if I can get on top of this and stop relying on food, then the rest will fall into place.    

My clothes feel looser, but don’t think I am ready for a new wardrobe just yet, although I am looking forward to going out on a shopping spree. I think when I get to this point I will feel much happier in myself and my appearance.  

I did think about buying a new top as a small reward but it’s hard to find clothes when you’re a large size, there’s only one high street shop that I can buy clothes from. It’s a nightmare, especially as they seem to cater for the older lady more than anyone. It’s so typical over here, all the shops stock sizes for people within a certain weight and height limit.  It’s like having a tall over weight person is the rarest thing on earth!

I understand that maybe there is an incentive for the overweight person in there somewhere, as they probably feel they need to lose weight to be able to go into any shop and buy clothes, rather than feeling like an idiot looking through clothes that are obviously not going to fit them, just to try and feel/look a little “normal”. 

The other thing that upsets me when clothes shopping, is the price of clothes! They increase as the sizes go up! Do people think that just because I am over weight I sit around and stuff my face all day, making me a wealthy enough person to pay double the price?  Or does an extra inch or two of material really cost an extra £20 + ???  It will feel great to walk into any shop and buy clothes I really like for a change. I would love to get down to a size 14 (US 10) possibly even 10-12 (6-8) but I am not sure if that will be too small? For my height, I will just have to wait and see what happens! 

I have the house to myself this evening and so I am going to put my little boys to bed and do a work out. Steve has gone to Barcelona on business so I won’t have to worry about anyone watching me. Although I have been happily married for 5 years in July I still feel very conscious of my body.  

It’s strange how our minds play tricks on us. It’s like my friend who hates Quorn  products.  Their view is “if it’s not meat why try to disguise it as meat???”, which is a fair point. When they cooked it and knew that it was not meat they could tell the difference but when their partner cooked it, they could not tell the difference and ate it!  Is it because you have a mental image of what the food should taste like and knowing full well its not exactly prepared as you would expect, your mind tells you “this is not right, you should not eat this, its disgusting”??? 

I personally found turning over to Soya based products very easy.  I cook it the same way as I would meat; it’s just healthier for me. :0)  Another thing that I have felt hard to stop using is oils and fats.  I love my toast in the morning with a little bit of butter on. I did change over to veggie spread but now I am trying to cut this out as well.  So I have taken to putting other things on my morning toast.  At the moment my favourite is hummus – it’s yum! It goes down very nicely with cucumber and tomato on. However, unfortunately as it’s shop-bought hummus it does have a lot of oil in and so too much is not as healthy as it seems.

I weighed myself this morning and I have lost 2lb since Tuesday which is good but this means I have the weekend to lose the remaining 3lb to reach my target of 5 lb this week.  So, over the weekend I am going to eat fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch and loads of salad or veg for dinner with a little bit of something else. My snacks are going to be just fruit. I am going to step up my exercise this weekend, and try and aim for at least ½ hour sessions a day.  I am looking forward to getting back to my weekly swim.  I love swimming, it takes my mind off a lot of things, and I feel sort of free when I am in the water  - I am a true water baby and I hope that my boys will be too.

It’s been a very emotional week for me this week, with one thing and another. And it’s been very hard for me not to do my usual “comfort eating” for hours on end, but I think I have done very well and avoided it. It’s a little disappointing that I have not lost more due to the hard work I have put in to avoid the “bad” foods, when I could have quite easily stuffed my face with KFC all day every day. It just goes to show that having a little target in mind does help with determination. Which will leave me with the task of finding another small but motivational target for next week? If I lose my final 3lb!   

I am not as disappointed as I thought I would be, I think this is because I feel a little better about the whole weight loss program. I am getting into it a lot more; putting fresh veg and/or salad with everything I eat. And I think that as I go it will become easier.

I know the areas that I need to work on. I need to try to incorporate an exercise schedule and I am trying to aim for at least ten minutes every day rather than just weekends.

So I have requested some help from Leigh and Nick @ www.salubrity.co.uk to help me with some words of wisdom.

I am going to “Try” and get up a bit earlier in the mornings and do a 10 minute work out before the boys wake up.

After having a good conversation with Leigh, I found that I am probably “over filling on fuel” in the evenings, which means when breakfast comes round I am not really hungry and so when I eat breakfast I am just over loading on fuel again. So I am going to stop and think before a meal, how hungry I am and adjust my portion sizes to fit.

All in all I am feeling a lot healthier on the inside already I just want it to show on the outside.  But then saying that, I have fewer skin irritations (spots).

I need to lose 5lb this week to reach my target of 1 stone in 1 month.

Watch this space! 

I was a day late jumping on the old scales, and they were not pleased to see me. I have dropped 3lb which is good, but I just wish it was more.

I keep thinking about my last week and where I went wrong. I constantly feel like I am making excuses for myself and my weight, but is there really an excuse good enough for not taking care of your body more?

 I Find it very hard to say “NO” and stick to it, I seem to spend ages at friends’ homes saying “No, I am fine thank you anyway” 2 seconds later after they have said “Go on” I say “Honestly, no, its OK” they then come back with the “Why not?” I go back saying  “I can’t, I am trying to lose weight” they then say “Are you? Well one won’t hurt” I am sitting there thinking “they are right you know, the one probably won’t hurt, it’s the 3-4 that follow that will do the damage”. So you then start to back down a little and say “They/it looks lovely but I really shouldn’t” they then keep their hand firmly on your back just enough to push you over the edge and then it slips out of your mouth, the words you have been trying for all of 10 minutes to hold in “ ohhh go on then” It’s only after that you feel slightly guilty. It’s the feeling that put the “Well you have eaten that you might as well eat this”in your head, then the diet goes completely out of the window for the rest of the day.  I need to learn that if I do get “pushed” (arms twisted behind my back kinda pushed) and fall off the ‘wagon’ I need to tell myself …. “OK, you ate that.  You know you enjoyed every last little bit, but now you need to push on with the diet”. – But it’s the positive thinking in this that makes me feel so silly.. I mean who talks to themselves like this????Apparently loads of people, and apparently it works??So I am going to try some “positive” thinking, and hopefully if I do this after a healthy meal it will encourage me to eat more healthily, if I do it after the bad food, it will help me to limit myself?? – You never know.  

My really big down fall is comfort food. It does not take much for me to feel down; just a minor “tiff” can lead me to picking up the biscuits or bag of crisps.

What is it about comfort food that makes it feel so right as you ram as much of it down your throat as humanly possible (or by this time you’re just a wild animal, trying to put your craving or sudden bout of hunger to bed) then feel completely guilty after you have finished licking your fingers or plate (if you managed to grab one in time)???

I often ask myself, what did people do before “comfort foods” were around?

Well last week I though I did pretty well considering the mood I was in for most of it.

 I know where I fell to the ground covered with delights of “bad” foods. I went to a restaurant  with some friends, I had a work conference (which did not cater for people trying to lose weight), and then I had a Chinese meal at my auntie’s which fell into place after a rush to the hospital with my little boy Michael (he decided to split his head open on the sharp edge of a rock). Ohh and then there was the burger & two sausage rolls I had at my friend’s house.  The target that has been set out for me is to do 10 minutes of exercise a day, which I am hoping to find easy.  I just need to find a way to add extra time into my day. (Maybe Dr Who can help? Or Michael J Fox? Anyone with a time machine? He he he).

I am sure it will be OK. :0)

Well that’s my moan for the day….. Take care x